18th November 2009

Text

Officer ‘Jungle Gym’ meets feline friend

Meet the policeman dubbed Officer “Jungle Gym” in Taylor, Texas.

Keith Urban was on duty and he pulled over an SUV on a country road. When he stopped to write a ticket, a feline the Taylor Daily Press describes as a “black juvenile kitten, likely about a year old” approached and wanted to play. The whole thing was captured on Urban’s patrol car dashcam.

The cat wants to climb Urban’s leg, but Urban discourages it. It persists and, if you want to skip to the good stuff, around 1:49 in the video, the summit is reached.

That the policeman continued to write the ticket even as he was climbed upon makes this what the Taylor Daily Press calls one of the Taylor police department’s “most entertaining stories of life as a police officer.”

Police chief Jeff Straub said the video showed “incredible patience on the part of the officer.”

Tags catsclimbingThe Law

13th July 2009

Text

Stolen skunk recovered, thieves jailed

Florida authorities arrested two people who stole a baby skunk from an animal emporium last week.

According to the Sarasota County Sheriff’s office, the furry creature was swiped from the Animal Crackers Pet Store. It is valued at $400.

It was recovered the next day when a 21-year-old man tried to return it to the store. He was arrested, and authorities later picked up a 20-year-old woman connected to the crime, reports the AP.

The man was charged with grand theft, the woman as an accessory. No word on the mental state of the skunk.

Tags skunkscrimeThe Law

10th July 2009

Text

German badger gets ‘drunk as a skunk’

The wires are abuzz with the tale of a badger (above) who got so drunk he blocked a road in Goslar in northwestern Germany.

The police report about the incident notes that cops were called to the scene to clear what passerby believed was road kill. Nope, he was just passed out.

The badger had gorged itself on fermented cherries. “The animal’s stomach had turned the fruit to alcohol,” noted the report, “and the badger was, to put it crudely, drunk as a skunk.”

After some prodding, the badger moved to a nearby field to sleep it off.

“It could not immediately be established whether the badger got into trouble with his wife when he came home in such a state,” concluded the police statement.

Tags badgersdrinkingThe Law

1st July 2009

Text

France in trouble over giant hamsters

The country of France has received a stern warning from the EU over its failure to protect the endangered Alsace hamster.

The cuddly rodents are native to Europe and sport distinctive beige fur, white stripes and black underbellies. They hibernate for half the year and love to feast on cabbage, onions, beet root and alfalfa.

In 2001, there were some 1,600 hamsters roaming Alsace. In 2007, the London Telegraph reports, the number was 161.

The European Commission has long been on France’s case to provide a larger habitat with more feeding possibilities for the cuddly rodents. According to the EU, the hamsters require 600,000 acres of protected land to thrive. Currently, they have less than 8,500.

France’s official response: “We have taken note [of the European Commission’s action] and will examine their grievances.”

Tags FrancehamstersThe Law

25th June 2009

Text

Colorado bird hoarder cited

A Colorado teenager has been cited by police who discovered that he was stealing baby birds from their nests and storing them in shoeboxes in his bedroom.

The 15-year-old had birdnapped 53 little tweeties before his mother noticed what was going on and called authorities.

Only 13 of the hatchlings, mostly swallows and sparrows, survived, reports local news. They will be released back into the wild in the coming weeks.

The police have absolutely no idea why the kid did it.

“That’s the mystery in this case,” says Longmont, Colorado, Police Sergeant Dave Orr. “We don’t know what his motivation or his intentions were. We questioned him about that and he was not forthcoming at all, in that regard, so we really, simply don’t know.

Tags birdsbaby animalsThe Law

22nd June 2009

Text

Sea lion pup captured on freeway

A young sea lion was rescued early this morning when it was found roaming the freeway in Oakland, California.

The pup, believed to be a year old, was “found waddling on the center divide of northbound I-880” at about 5:45 a.m., reports the San Francisco Chronicle.

A police cruiser picked up the animal and drove it to the Oakland Animal Shelter, where staffer Marjorie Boor was charged with helping officers of the law move the slippery sea creature from the back seat to a crate.

But the pup was too fast! It evaded the team, slipped out the door, and “played a game of hide-and-seek” under the car until about 6:45 a.m..

It is now in custody, seems “very active and alert” and has been given the highly embarrassing name “Fruitvale” after the Oakland neighborhood where the shelter is located.

Tags Fruitvalesea lionsThe Lawvideos

9th June 2009

Text

Sarah Palin Twitters for Moose Calves

The fate of the two orphaned Alaskan moose calves is still in flux. The calves were recovered from the bed of a pickup truck (above) last week, and now they await their fate at the Alaska Zoo.

Members of the Alaska Moose Federation - a private advocacy group lobbying to bulk up Alaska’s moose population - told the Anchorage Daily Newsthat at the woman transporting the mooselets was trying to save them from Alaska officials who might put them down.

“To the best of my knowledge, and this is the truth, they were being taken to a secret, calf-rescue area,” the federation’s Tom Harris said Friday.

To stem public outcry against the possibility of the moose calves being euthanized, Governor Sarah Palin took to Twitter to add, “orphaned moose calves to be protected @ this time by Dept of Fish & Game. Long-term solution still needed”

Tags moosebaby animalsThe Law

5th June 2009

Text

Getaway thwarted, moose in custody

Alaskan police intercepted a pickup truck carrying this moose calf (above) and a sibling yesterday afternoon.

The driver of the truck claimed that she was taking the animals to a reindeer farm where they would live out their lives, says the Anchorage Daily News. She said the moose calves were orphans and had fallen into her care. State Troopers believe that the two calves belonged to a mother moose who was shot Wednesday when she charged a woman in the area.

But apparently chauffeuring a pair of moose calves is a no-no in the eyes of the Alaskan Department of Fish and Wildlife. The animals were removed from the truck and taken to the Alaska Zoo for safekeeping overnight. Arrangements for their future will be decided upon today.

Tags moosebaby animalsThe Law

5th June 2009

Text

And this is how it’s done…

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway…

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen

Tags dogscatsducksThe Law